Pleasure at Any Age: A Guide to Sex Toys for Older Adults
The team at Adult Stuff Warehouse recently asked for my thoughts on a question they hear more often than you might expect: what kinds of toys suit older adults?
It’s a thoughtful question, because pleasure doesn’t vanish with age. It simply shifts. Bodies change, sensitivity changes, and sometimes what felt effortless at 25 needs a different approach at 55, 65, or 75. None of this is an ending. It’s an invitation to explore what feels good now.
What follows is a guide for older adults who want to keep pleasure in their lives with comfort, confidence, and a touch of curiosity.
Wand massagers: reliable, ergonomic power
A wand massager is often the easiest place to begin. The large head delivers broad, diffuse stimulation; the handle is easy to hold; the controls are simple. They suit external pleasure of all kinds, including clitoral, vulval, perineal, and penile stimulation.
External stimulators: precision without effort
If you prefer focused sensation, an external vibrator or air-pulse toy offers intensity with minimal movement. Models with big, clear buttons are especially user-friendly. Air-pulse styles can suit those experiencing reduced sensitivity or dryness, as they stimulate without friction.
Soft silicone dildos and slimline insertables
Prioritise comfort. Softer silicone bends with the body and reduces pressure. Slimline or lightly curved designs suit anyone wanting penetration without stretch or discomfort. These shapes are particularly good if pelvic floor tension, menopause-related dryness, or prostate sensitivity needs a gentler approach.
Couples toys with simple controls
Shared pleasure doesn’t need to feel complicated. Many couples toys now offer single-button operation or a simple remote with a few settings. Wearable rings and basic external vibrators tend to be the most approachable choices.
Penis rings and adjustable options
As erections naturally change with age, adjustable or stretch-fit rings can help improve firmness or duration. Avoid rigid designs; comfort and flexibility are more important.
Lubricant: use more
Lubricant improves almost everything. Use more than you think, and then add a little extra. Silicone lubes last longest for external play. Water-based lubes are ideal for most toys and easy to clean.
Practical tips
Warm up slowly. Try positions that support joints and reduce strain. A cushion under the back or knees can turn discomfort into enjoyment. Explore while reclined, seated, or with support. Pleasure is not a performance.
A closing thought
Sexuality doesn’t fade with age. It evolves. The right toy is the one that feels good in your body today — comfortable, enjoyable, and grounding. If you’re an older adult exploring new possibilities, consider this encouragement to try something new, with curiosity and good lube as your companions.
Regards
Christine - Grandmother, and mum of one of the (embarrassed) boys at ASW.